“A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.”Rumors are circulating about plans to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wigs and polyester pantsuits, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary. . well, if you have a soda. I don't think alcohol would be appropriate." She said nervously as she looked at the numbers on the faxed sheet."Wow, this one Hentai Premium on the Japanese market, do you own that? How can it open at 9 and be traded that heavily and end up at 9? That's not even a nickel in our money, what's the yen at 118-120? If you bought that any higher I would dump that, but if you came in at 9 it might be worth the speculation to own 24 hours, although you said you don't do that." She said as she scrolled out the whole roll, perusing the numbers."I bought it at 4, 3 days ago. I should move on it now, but I think it's going to make a big move tonight, if past performance of this type of stock holds true." He said."If you doubled your investment and sold it as soon as their markets open tomorrow I bet you would triple your money. Your buy would encourage movement." She said still thinking out loud."Selena, you little rat day trader. Trying to influence bad money after.
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